What makes someone a soulmate?
It can be hard to tell, especially at the beginning of a relationship. That rush you get from falling in love can be so intoxicating, yet it doesn’t always lead to a happy ending. Some say the emotional charge you get when you meet someone is just hormones or “happy brain chemicals” doing their thing. Yet there are couples who have a genuine, deep, lasting connection that seems to greatly surpass superficial, transactional, or otherwise surface-level relationships.
If you find someone who makes you feel incredible, rest assured that a soulmate connection is a very real possibility. To balance your powerful feelings with a little logic, ask yourself some simple questions to find out if this is the real deal.
In this article, you’ll find out which questions to ask and what to look for in a soulful partnership.
#1: Are They Like a New Best Friend?
Deep relationships aren’t just about romance. They’re about lasting friendship as much as anything else. The right person will make you laugh, share fun times with you, and be the confidant you can always talk to. Cracking jokes and being silly together is a good sign that you’ve got a keeper you can hold on to for life.
With a soulmate, you’ll have as much fun plopped on the couch with a bowl of popcorn or doing routine weekend chores together as you would on a fancy dinner date. You know they won’t judge you for being in your PJs all day. You can talk about the deeper stuff, share the latest gossip, and have travel or hiking adventures together. You’re a team.
#2: Do You Respect Each Other?
Love is respect, and respect is often about balance. Soulmates need to be on equal playing fields. There should be a balance of give and take, with both people supporting each other, giving each other the space to talk about problems, and lifting each other up when they’re feeling down. If there’s an imbalance, or if one person is always putting themselves first, there may be an issue with respect.
Respect is also about honoring each other’s boundaries and independence. This can look like giving each other space to spend time with friends, work toward career goals, and honor their personal ebbs and flows in energy. If one person is trying to force the other to adapt to the other’s needs, lifestyle, or habits, that person may not be a soulmate.
#3: Do They Feel Like Home?
While respect for individual needs is important, you also want to have a natural love for being with each other. Soulmate connections often include an unshakable sense of comfort. When you meet them, you may even get the sense that you’ve met before, like you’re literally coming home.
Conversations flow easily. You find yourself talking all night about everything from past relationship hurts to hopes and dreams to the day at work. You may find it easy to talk about things you never were able to before. Even in silence, you feel safe. You don’t need to try and force a conversation.
#4: Do You Have Shared Values?
When it comes to compatibility, some things are deal breakers. Having the same basic standards and values is one of them. You don’t need to agree with everything your partner believes, says, or does, but you’ll likely need to agree on some core issues.
This could mean monogamy or non-monogamy, how much time you like to spend with a partner, how much solitude you require, or whether or not you prioritize kindness and empathy above all else. It could relate to what’s most important in your life like family bonds, career goals, creative pursuits, the freedom of being a traveler, or the stability of living in a suburb.
It could also mean more practical things like whether you want to get married and/or have kids, how you handle finances. It could also be ethics and morals, religious or spiritual beliefs, or the kind of lifestyle you lead.
#5: Do They Support You During Dark Times?
The last person you want backing out during life difficulties is your partner. Yet for some, the less-than-perfect moments are a sign to cut and run. Not for soulmates. After all, the soul is a deep and powerful thing, filled with life experiences both good and bad that have served its growth. So, a soulmate will stick with you through thick and thin.
When you’re suffering, a soulmate suffers too. They’re not just passively watching what’s happening — they’re right there with you, living it with you. If you feel like you can talk to your partner about anything and you know they’ve got your back, you may have found your soulmate.
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#6: Can You Read What They’re Feeling and Thinking Easily?
Soulmates can have such a deep bond, it can practically feel like they have telepathic abilities. They finish each other’s sentences. They can sense when the other is about to text or call. They sense each other’s character and feelings without asking, and they feel compelled to heal, help, or support the other person when they’re feeling down.
They’ll also frequently be on the same wavelength. You show up ready for a party in blue, and it turns out they are too. You want Indian food for dinner, and they picked it up on the way home. If you’re constantly saying, “I was just thinking that!” you may have found your soulmate.
#7: Do They Trigger What Needs to Be Healed in You?
While soulmate relationships are incredible, they’re not without issues. In fact, sometimes, our soulmates bring out some very challenging sides of us. They can act as mirrors, showing us exactly what needs to be healed within us, and, let’s face it, that can be hard. In fact, you can expect some big triggers in a soulmate connection because that’s where the deepest gifts are. Uncomfortable emotions and awareness can lead to better self-awareness and self-growth.
Maybe your partner’s career success threatens you, and it brings up your own feelings of competition or unworthiness. Maybe they don’t call when they said they would, and your inner child has a freakout. You’ve just been shown what you need to work on most, which is a gift that’s even better coming from a soulmate.
Just make sure that the triggers aren’t constant. While you want to be challenged to grow, having constant conflict is a sign of incompatibility at best and toxic territory at worst. Make sure there’s a balance between growth, rest, and peace.
Your partner should show understanding for your triggers, and you should do the same. Soulmate connections are opportunities for healthy, assertive communication and for developing strong personal boundaries. Those tough moments truly can be some of your greatest blessings and teaching moments.
#8: Do You Feel a Sense of Peace?
You get home from a long day and can’t wait to be with them. You lose a family member and, in their arms, you just know that somehow it will be alright. Your soulmate will be someone who brings you a sense of calm and acts as a shelter from the storm. The deep bond you have transcends arguments and challenges. At the deepest level, you are two people who have respect and love for each other’s souls. That brings peace.
#9: Do You Balance Each Other Out?
Soulmates come together for a reason. They tend to complement each other, so while they may have significant differences, those differences help them each to grow, learn more about themselves and each other, and navigate through life more easily. As teammates, you combine your talents and enhance each other’s strengths. You pull more weight in the areas your partner struggles with, and they do the same for you.
#10: Do They Bring Out the Best in You?
It’s common to feel triggered by your soulmate at times. So, some not so great sides of you may come out from time to time. But a soulmate connection will also allow you and your relationship to naturally blossom their fullest, most radiant expressions.
So if you tend to be shy, the comfort and safety of a soulmate connection may give you the support you need to let your guard down and show who you are. If you’re creative, a soulmate might be your muse who helps you to express yourself in ways you’ve never been able to before. Or maybe your soulmate just gets you — you feel heard and seen, so you don’t have to prove yourself as much and you feel like you can be authentic, even vulnerable. These are all signs that you’ve found your soulmate.
#11: Do you Feel the Spark?
Sometimes you just know they’re the one. While you don’t want to base everything on a fleeting emotional high, there’s something to be said about that electric feeling of desire, that euphoria of being in sync with someone, and that feeling of being touched on a deep emotional level. This might happen on a first date, or it could take days, weeks, or even months. That said, if you’ve been in a happy relationship for years and you’ve never felt blown away with emotion, that doesn’t mean you haven’t found your soulmate. Some people work best in a stable, committed, predictable, yet deeply bonded union.
Finding the One Is Possible!
It’s important not to confuse infatuation with a soulmate connection, but it can be almost impossible to tell the difference. If you’re feeling blown away by a connection, ask yourself some simple questions to see if there’s real soulmate potential.
Soulmate connections may seem like the stuff of fairy tales, but deeply transformative, powerful, and loving relationships do happen regularly. And if you feel you already lost a soulmate, take heart — there are plenty of people who can act as soulmates in our lives.
Here’s to relationships that are soulful, powerful, and filled with greatness!
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